I motivate women to become mothers when they’re ready, because I did the same!
Today, every working woman faces this one experience – being reminded of her ticking biological clock. This doctor faced the same yet chose to have a baby when she was fully prepared for it, and now she motivates other women to do the same.
“I was 29 when I chose to freeze my eggs. I’d completed my post-graduation in medicine and that did motivate me further to go for a fellowship programme in Germany. At that time, my career was my priority, not building a family. I also hadn’t met the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, so the decision felt right.
When I told my parents, they didn’t motivate me right away. Instead, they asked why I was opting for the procedure when I was capable of reproducing ‘the normal way.’ I replied, ‘Because this will help me secure my career and fertility.’ I told them about my ambitions, and the fact that I wanted to have a child when I was sure I could take up that responsibility. So, I used up all my savings and started the procedure.
And I felt so powerful about it. I could become a mother when I was ready to, plus, I wouldn’t have to listen to any more of that ‘your biological clock is ticking’ nonsense! So after my eggs were ready, I had a surgery where they were extracted. The doctor said, ‘You can use them whenever you want.’ So, I completed my fellowship and built my practice just as I wanted!
But I didn’t talk about my surgery to anyone else; I didn’t want to be judged by people who knew nothing about the process. At weddings, I’d often be asked, ‘You’re not getting married?’ or ‘You don’t want children?’ I’d say, ‘Yes, all in due time.’ People would look at me baffled, while my parents would come to my support and talk about my achievements.
I was 32 when I was prepared to marry; my family found me a good match. I was nervous to tell him about the surgery. But when I did, he just said, ‘Let’s use them when you’re ready.’ Even my in-laws were so supportive and motivated us to go ahead with the procedure. So finally, at 34, I gave birth to twins; we were over the moon!
I love being a mother, but I’m glad I froze my eggs. Becoming a doctor takes years of study and practice, and I wouldn’t have been able to dedicate the time it needed if I’d become a mom earlier. And now that I’m settled in my career, I can give my kids all my attention and love! I finish work early so I can pick them up from school, and I even adjust my work timings so I can play with them.
I’m a fertility specialist, so many people often ask me, ‘Is this a natural way of conceiving?’ The taboos surrounding this simple procedure are still so rampant! I remember, once, a couple backed out because they didn’t want their baby to be ‘artificially made.’ Another couple was fearful that their eggs would get mixed up and their child would be someone else’s!
So I try to help in any way I can… as a fertility specialist, and as a woman. I often share my story with women who feel pressured to have kids and give their careers a backseat. I motivate them to choose a life they want for themselves. Because that’s what I did. I’m a doctor, and I’m a mother… but I could only be both because I chose myself first.”
Being India’s largest storytelling platform, Humans of Bombay is all about bringing you extraordinary stories of ordinary people. We bring this story to you to show you that despite societal norms, you can make your own choices and motivate others too! If you’d like to read more such stories, check out our book and dive into the diverse tales of a country with a billion beating hearts!