“I held him in my arms for the first time on 11th August, the same day that we lost Gaurav”
“Gaurav and I were college sweethearts who dated on and off for 10 years before tying the knot. We knew each other in and out, so Gaurav always knew that I wasn’t too keen on being a mother; he never pressured me. But Gaurav loved kids, his face would light up in their company. Every time I saw him like that, I got around the idea a little more and four years into marriage we decided to have a baby via IVF.
Our first embryo transfer happened a few months later; we were ecstatic. A week before the results, Gaurav had to travel to his hometown for work. He left reluctantly; before leaving, he told his mom, ‘I’ll bring good news when we next meet.’ But the next time never came… Gaurav’s car got rammed by a truck– he died on the spot.
Initially, no one told me what happened, I just got a call saying, ‘Gaurav met with an accident, he’s critical.’ His family picked me up and we rushed to our hometown. But when we got there, his body was just lying there. There were no external injuries; he looked so peaceful but he was gone
I remember howling; my best friend had been taken from me right when we were entering a new phase in our life. I was devastated. But at the same time, my resolve to have Gaurav’s baby, our baby, got stronger.
Even though we were in a village for his last rites, I made sure I didn’t miss my IVF shots, but the results were negative. I felt shattered. But then I remembered that the hospital had frozen a sample of Gaurav’s sperms; I asked the hospital to preserve it. I went to Mumbai for my treatment; looking at couples in the clinic would break my heart. I was grieving and the hormones from the treatment made it worse. Gaurav and I were supposed to do this together… But I needed to realise our dream; I wanted a piece of him with me.
For three years, I kept trying. We kept freezing and then unfreezing that vial of sperm; my reports were normal but it wasn’t working out. So my doctor suggested surrogacy… and it worked!
It felt like I was drowning and that one positive pregnancy test pulled me back up. I was finally expecting Gaurav’s child through surrogacy– the whole family was ecstatic. We were expecting the baby in September, 2018. But believe it or not, Aditya came sooner– I held him in my arms for the first time on 11th August, the same day that we lost Gaurav… Almost like he came back to me, for me. And Aditya is a spitting image of his dad– he has the same smile, that same mischievous look in his eyes.
Today, I’m a single mom, juggling work and my 2 years old child– I fend for us by myself. Every day is an adventure and an emotional rollercoaster, but at the end of the day, I have my biggest miracle– Aditya! And I think my reward is Aditya pointing towards a picture of Gaurav and me and saying, ‘Daddy Mamma’ every time he crosses the living room.”